The Why
"We Are Here For The Silent Sufferers!"
Domestic violence does not care about your race, color, gender, religion, zip code, education levels, wealth, celebrity status, job title, or circle of influences. We have seen recently, in the past, and will continue through to the end of time, how domestic violence continues to impact us all, whether it's hearing, reading, or seeing a news story, social media post, or blog about an individual(s) being victimized by an intimate partner or we have been vicariously traumatized as an empathetic eye or ear to an innocent bystander from a friend, loved one, or fellow human-being who has been harmed...we have felt the impact! We care about an individual's right to life, liberty, and peace, rather than being focused on whether they are white, black, Asian, Indian, LGBTQIA+, elderly, disabled, or a veteran. Any type of violence is absolutely wrong on any level. No human being or animal deserves to live under a constant threat of death or any form of harm.
We must also realize with full transparency that cities across the country are experiencing a historic spike in intimate partner homicides, and violence in general, that is greatest in racially segregated, high-poverty neighborhoods. Black men make up 6% of the population but over 50% of gun homicide victims. Black women, Latinos, and Native Americans are also disproportionately impacted. The loss of life has devasting consequences for family members and cascading harms for communities. As just one example, research shows that exposure to firearm violence—including as a victim or witness—makes it twice as likely an adolescent will commit a violent act within two years.
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IMPACT ON CHILDREN WHO WITNESS DOMESTIC VIOLENCE
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Children in homes where one parent is abused may feel fearful and anxious. They may always be on guard, wondering when the next violent event will happen. This can cause them to react in different ways, depending on their age:
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Children in preschool. Young children who witness intimate partner violence may start doing things they used to do when they were younger, such as bed-wetting, thumb-sucking, increased crying, and whining. They may also develop difficulty falling or staying asleep; show signs of terror, such as stuttering or hiding; and show signs of severe separation anxiety.
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School-aged children. Children in this age range may feel guilty about the abuse and blame themselves for it. Domestic violence and abuse hurts children’s self-esteem. They may not participate in school activities or get good grades, have fewer friends than others, and get into trouble more often. They also may have a lot of headaches and stomachaches.
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Teens. Teens who witness abuse may act out in negative ways, such as fighting with family members or skipping school. They may also engage in risky behaviors, such as having unprotected sex and using alcohol or drugs. They may have low self-esteem and have trouble making friends. They may start fights or bully others and are more likely to get in trouble with the law. This type of behavior is more common in teen boys who are abused in childhood than in teen girls. Girls are more likely than boys to be withdrawn and to experience depression.4
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Our children pay a price for a crime they never committed, and as a result, they go on to repeat the cycles of abuse as a victimizer or victim! They hurt people because they are hurt people.
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My Story... A.W. Burgess
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My father died while I was in the womb. He was justifiably killed by the Baltimore police stemming from the aftermath of a Domestic Violence occurrence with my mom and her family. So, before I took my first breath, domestic violence had already impacted my life, DNA, and bloodline. I was always told I was just like him in the sense that he was an evil person who tortured my mom. My aunts and uncles said he would spit in my mom's face and assault her in front of them, daring them to do something as he pulled his gun out, pointing it at them. I was constantly told, "You are just like him...mean and evil!"
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My mom was tortured by him and consequentially I became her victim. I was the reason for all of her trauma and drama, according to her. My mom blamed me for his death, and the reason why she "Should have aborted me!" I was the reason why she drank. The reason why she could not get married. The reason for her stillborn baby with a married man! The reason she wouldn't come to my games, and for the few games she did, she was a drunken spectacle. The reason why my aunt and uncle could abuse and torture me. The reason she tried to take my life as a child one night. The reason why I was locked in a basement in the dark overnight.
I watched my mother and aunt get abused! They shifted their abuse on me! I went on to become a family, friend, neighborhood, and school bully! Then I graduated to a teen, young adult, and adult abuser...Abuse(Her)! As a result, I ended up in prison at the onset of my senior year of college when it seemed as if I had everything to live for. I had just repeated the same cycle of violence 21 years later as my father had done. The difference though was I surrendered and only by the grace of God I was not killed by the police.
In prison I received the required mental health! I found out what made me violent! “IT” was revealed and so I got healed. I learned how to cope with life skill sets & coping techniques! I fell back in Love With Me! I Committed To A Lifetime of Mental Health Management!
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Through the assistance of so many caring people, I broke the generational trauma & curses, cultures, and cycles of violence, secrets, and silence in the bloodlines of my family. Now I help others do what was done to permanently heal me through therapy sessions with offenders and the people they have harmed. We help citizens to preserve the sanctity of the family, while providing equity, restoration, accountability, and mental wellness solutions to ALL of our communities. We help victims transform into survivors and their children manifests into curse breakers.
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I was helped by people speaking life into my existence! The only regret I have is I did not listen to my friend when she told me I needed help. I sincerely apologize to her and her family as she never deserved my abuse and it was never her fault for my abuse. I sincerely apologized to my wife and children and to all others I have or may have harmed in any form or fashion because they have paid a price for my crime that they so never deserved.
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Today it is easy telling the world "I am a former domestic violence offender!" The most difficult thing is knowing that I had intentionally harmed an individual who loved me more than I loved myself at the time. I harmed a SHERO! Heroes and Sheroes should never be intentionally harmed!!!!!
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I rise each day to help God save a life and a legacy! "I AM Here For The Silent Sufferers!"
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A.W. Burgess